Guest Blog by Fatima Farmer
I’ve dealt with some form of comparison for most of my life. In grade school I wanted to be like my older sister, in high school I wanted to be like my peers and in college I wanted to be like my friends.
Even as a young adult in my early twenties I was always comparing my life to strangers on social media. For some reason pretty instagram filters and hashtags have a way of making us feel less than. Like we’re behind or missing out on something. Over consuming these images of our friends and peers living their “seemingly” best lives makes us wonder… “Has God forgotten about me?”. In moments like this our lives can feel like they are slipping by and everyone is passing us up. Our peers suddenly seem more successful, beautiful and happy.
As I approach the tender age of 26. I can finally say I’ve dominated my inner comparison junkie. I’ve finally learned how to break the unhealthy cycle of comparison. Here’s how I did it:
#1 Remember that social media is just the highlight reel.
The images you see don’t show the ugly parts of an experience. You may see a picture of your co-worker and her smiling boyfriend, but it doesn’t show the fight they had a minute after the photo was taken. The travel photo on the top of a mountain may not display the rain they got caught in while heading home shortly after snapping that amazing photo. These are just examples, but I say all this to remind you that… “A perfect photo doesn’t equal a perfect life.” It’s just a moment in time and the best moment that they decided to share with the world.
AFFIRMATION: “I AM NOT HONORING MYSELF WHEN I COMPARE MY LIFE TO SOMEONE’S HIGHLIGHT REEL.”
Devoting myself to God and really focusing on our relationship has helped me to fill “boring moments” with spending time with God rather than scrolling on social media. Take that down time to reflect and plan things for your life. Another tip: Choose your crowd wisely. If you know that being with a certain group of people causes you to compare yourself, then STOP hanging out with them. Instead spend your down-time with God. What does that mean? Click here to find out!
#3 Stay In Your Lane.
This has been HUGE for me! After years of trying to be like everyone else, comparing my journey, watching others succeed and wondering…”when will it be my turn?” I finally realized this MAJOR KEY! Spend time doing the things you truly enjoy. Don’t waste time doing things that everyone else is doing. There’s power is working toward the things that serve your purpose and calling. If you are called to do something, DO IT! Don’t spend your time wondering how other people will view you. Staying in your lane keeps your focused on your goals and not everyone else’s accomplishments.
AFFIRMATION: “YOU HAVE NO POWER IN ANY TERRITORY, BUT YOUR OWN”. -OPRAH
Grab your notebook and bible! Here’s a few verses I want you to study.
- Galatians 6:4-5
- Romans 12:12
- Phillipians 2:3
- Galatians 1:10
- Psalm 37:5
Still struggling with comparison?
Fatima Farmer is an empowerment coach + speaker. She helps young women find their God given purpose through faith and practical advice.
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