This is something that is always rather heavy on my heart, it’s just more so now that I am a college junior. I have come to realize several times in this past year that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. There’s plenty of times I go hunched over and sulking to my friends and say “Guys, just promise me you’ll drop a few coins in my cup when I’m living on streets after graduation 😞” Half kidding but also half serious.
For some reason, it’s is during your junior year that reality suddenly sets in. Your life is crazy hectic, the classes are more demanding, you start to forget what your friends look like, you feel inadequate, suddenly your résumé has too much blank space, your social life takes a dive, and out of no where you are so much closer to being a college graduate than you ever realized.
Instantly college becomes less about the glamour and more about the academics.
And then people just have the audacity to ask you all these grown up questions you aren’t ready to answer like:
“So what are your plans after school?”
“Have you applied for any internships?”
“What do you plan to do with your major?”
“What graduate schools are you looking at?”
None of these things you have the answers for. Or maybe you’re like me and have the answers but are just to scared to share the crazy-sounding dreams you have. Either way, you’re not ready to answer. And of course you have that friend that seems to have had everything planned since they were three and is currently working on the cure for cancer while mentoring underprivileged youth in Cambodia. He or she makes you feel even more crappy about your life without even trying *cue violins 🎻*
Well I’m here to tell you that I’m right there with you.
I don’t know what I want to do post May 2016, but strangely enough I have this measly ounce of faith that things will be fine. And you should to.
This is the time for the dreamers to run scared. Being a musician, a dancer, an entrepreneur, an artist, a writer, or whatever else just suddenly seems impossible. So you give 100% to that back up plan people like to ask about, just to feel secure.
For you there may not be a grad school, or the perfect internship. You have to be the “divergent” one in a world where everyone else has a plan waiting for them.
And I honestly can’t even be super positive about your future without admitting that I’m just as scared about my own.
But guess what?
A lot of times we rush to try and plan our lives just to please everyone else, and to appear as good as our peers. And I’m not sure about you, but I go to a pretty competitive institution so I always feel in last place compared to the movers and the shakers on campus. And you may feel that way too.
But guess what?
Just because the front window is a little hazy doesn’t mean we can’t keep driving.
But also don’t get so caught up in that hazy window, that you can’t see all the passengers in the car with you.
The people out there living your dreams were once in very similar positions. And almost all of them didn’t follow a plan, or some predetermined path to reach success.
Being out of the security of school is scary, but not impossible to handle. Other people may seem to have it all together but they may be just as lost as you. And hey, it’s better to be lost now than to wake up 40 years from now and realize you wasted your life following some plan you never believed in.
So to the dreamers, keep grinding even if you’re a little lost right now. I’ll be right in the trenches with you 😘✊
*P.S. I wrote this whole blog in the shower, there’s something wrong with me 🙈*