Before I start this rant, I have to acknowledge the fact that I am responsible for the aggravation I feel scrolling through my TL on a daily basis…. because I am way too nice when it comes to following people back. HOWEVER I still have the right to complain because I’m down right tired of the foolishness.
You Instagram criminals have got to stop! You may not even know you are still immature in Instagram years, but it’s okay. That’s what I’m here for. (this is not in any specific order)
So Thing #1 People Who Only Post Memes. We all love ’em, they are getting funnier and funnier as days pass. But that does not give you the right to pollute my TL every hour with a new one. Especially, when you insist on posting the same ones as everyone else! Instagram was first created for actual images of yourself, so…. stop hiding behind borrowed comedy.
Thing #2 People Who Won’t Shut Up About Being SAS (Single And Sad) I understand being solo dolo gets lonely. You are in need of a significant other, or you may miss your old one. But I’m quite tired of hearing about it. That is not the way you find a new love, by advertising the fact that you are alone. In what universe is that attractive? I promise you won’t find the answers from your 600+ followers or however many you have. So suck it up. You will probably get more attention posting a nice selfie, so try that.
Thing #3 Food Photos Gone Wrong I’m all for a nice plate of food on my TL, but what I will not stand for are the bootleg meals people are trying to pass off as fine cuisine. First of all, if the food is on a plastic plate or there is white bread involved… just spare me.
Thing #4 Ratchet Bios There should never be more emojis than actual words in your Instagram bio. So all of this
⛄️❄️🌋🌌🌠⭐️☀️⛅️☁️⚡️☔️🐳🐬🐟🐠🐚🐙🐹🐰🐭🐺🐶🐽🐮…… needs to stop. And stop cursing people out before they even get a chance to follow you! Just stick to a few lines about yourself, or maybe a quote, do something that isn’t tacky. The hashtags, the fact that you’re biracial, your relationship status…. none of that should be in your bio.
Thing #5 Instagram Pornography Free expression… okay, I understand you have the right to post whatever you want. But posting pictures about the sex life you are missing or pretending to have is just annoying. Especially at random hours during the day! I don’t wanna scroll down my TL and see pictures of cunnilingus mixed in with babies, pets, and selfies. That doesn’t mix and again it’s unattractive.
Thing #6 The “I Don’t Trust Nobody” Posts I think what’s most irritating about this is the simple fact that it’s a contradiction. You constantly say how you don’t have anyone, don’t want anyone, rather focus on your “cash flow”, etc. but in reality it just comes off as a cry for help. Everyone needs someone, stop portraying yourself as a one man/woman army…. especially if your following post is along the lines of “I Need A Bae, Why Am I Single?” 😑 like what?
Thing #7 Relationship Goals Tired…. just plain tired is what I am. Just because a couple has on matching outfits, matching cars, or other superficial items does not mean they are in a healthy relationship! It takes two seconds to pose for a cute picture, but nearly a lifetime to build and maintain a good relationship. The celebrity couples you idealize have problems that you don’t know about and struggle just like the rest of us. Also, you CANNOT have a relationship like Martin and Gina because guess what? They are fictional characters.
Thing #8 Long Captions spare me. If you want to recite a poem, that’s what blogs are for 😊. Exceptions of course for birthdays, dedications, or a testimony here or there. But you will not continue to increase my scroll time for no reason at all.
Thing #9 Shoutouts When I selected the follow back option on your profile, you and I had an agreement. That agreement was I would follow you not you, Ray Ray, Bob, Lisa, and your distant cousin. I don’t have the time because quite frankly it’s confusing. And if you’re going to shout people out, or bid them good morning, they could at least be a nice addition to my TL. But no, of course they have to be disgraceful…. #ican’t
Thing #10 The Thirst For Followers I think it’s okay to say that everyone appreciates a high amount of followers. It makes us feel good “Yay, people like me!”…. but keep it mind that it’s just social media. You’re life does not depend on the number of people you have linked to your account. So if you lose a few…. or have a few that are ‘ghost’…. there’s no need to have a myocardial infarction. And don’t be that person that will do anything for a follow, it’s never that deep.
You know, I could probably keep adding to this list but I said I’d only do 10. So there you have it.